While the historian in me wants to go on and on about slapping people with goat hides (I’m not kidding), I (sometimes) heed my husband’s advice and try to keep articles focused on a topic that might actually appeal to more than two or three people on the planet. So I’ll talk about Valentine’s Day in the here and now instead.

It would seem an obvious connection: the open your heart series and the hearts of Valentine’s Day. And yet … and yet. There’s a certain exclusivity to the holiday that — it seems to me — often doesn’t end up opening hearts. When I was still in high school (and a girls’ school, at that!) there was definite superiority around the “I have one and you don’t” notion. And we live in a culture that tells us there’s something wrong in being single, in being childless, in being unattached. That being alone corresponds to loneliness and despair (and implies a certain unattractiveness in the person who is alone), while being with a partner makes one, somehow, “complete.”

And nowhere and at no time is this clearer than on Valentine’s Day.

Aside from the larger picture (that such assumptions are both untrue and hurtful), there’s not much there about opening one’s heart, is there? How do people spend the holiday? If they do not have partners, they often become depressed by the barrage of “this-is-the-way-you-should-be” messages. If they do have partners, they are besieged with “you-should-spend-more-than-you-can-afford-to-show-your-love” messages. Not very much there that I’d call loving.

So maybe we can all make resolutions to do something different this Valentine’s Day, something better. Show love in a non-exclusive way. Here are a few suggestions:

• adopt a dog or a cat from your local animal shelter. You’re pretty much guaranteed to have your love returned in triplicate.
• banish the winter blahs with an early spring cleaning: gather up all those books that have been cluttering your home and donate them to a library, shelter, or senior center.
• speaking of senior centers, remember that visits are always welcomed by people unable to go out much on their own. Better still, double up with the first suggestion and visit with your new dog or cat!
• write letters — real ones — to that great-aunt or old friend you’ve been neglecting.
• get involved in your community! The winter is a great time to meet people at church suppers, film screenings, and club activities. If you’re not in a club, join one.
• take your boss out for a hot chocolate and don’t ask him/her for a raise. Do it just because.
• give yourself permission to turn off the TV, ignore the ads, and spend Thursday evening doing precisely what you want to do.

The paradigm won’t change unless you take the lead in changing it! And then you’ll really open your heart!

– Jeannette Cézanne
http://www.JeannetteCezanne.com