Online book club and more!
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Welcome to the DreamTime Publishing blog. We love books, all books, even books not published by DreamTime!
We have two main purposes for our blog: One is to host an online book club, where readers can respond to our thoughts about books by their favorite authors.
Two is to allow readers to post questions about relationships, job issues, etc. We in turn will give a bit of informal input — remember that if you want professional advice, you should seek a professional. We are not holding ourselves out as experts on any of the topics we discuss. Our advice will more times than not be based on books we’ve found to be especially useful, books that will hopefully allow you to resolve underlying, recurring issues.
Thanks for having a look. Comment early and often, and happy reading!
Posted by: — Meg
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Ask — Some More!
May 24, 2006 | 5:23 pm
It’s such a terrific book that I couldn’t resist writing more about it. Yesterday I was talking with friends at our book club meeting, and among the many interesting things we covered was a discussion of anger and its relationship to depression. Because we look at anger as a negative emotion, it was interesting to see how the Hicks’ book mentioned that anger is several steps up on the emotional vibration scale from depression. So, a person who suffers from depression would be moving in the right direction to become angry.
Of course, we also talked about how if someone is stuck at anger that it might not be such a positive sign (although, as the book points out, only the person feeling the emotion knows if it’s a good place for him or her). For those of you who have the book, check out page 119 – it covers the emotional upgrading system. So, when you check in with yourself, and you want something that feels better, you can get to a better-vibing spot.
The relationship between anger and depression seems to make sense, at least from my experience. A few years ago when I was in a particularly volatile relationship, I ended up in a particularly dark and gloomy spot emotionally. I didn’t really recognize it for what it was until after the fact, but I do know that when I finally found anger – beautiful, cleansing outrage – that things started to turn around for me. I got out, got better, got my self-respect back, and got on my path – all and all a good experience, but with some challenging moments along the way.
Gotta love life’s twists and turns….!
Posted by: Hicks, Esther & Jerry — Meg
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What do I do about my job?
May 18, 2006 | 2:44 pm
Question:
I hate my job. It’s boring. It’s not challenging. My boss is the least intelligent person I’ve ever met. But I don’t know what else I want to do. I don’t know what interests me, and I can’t afford to just quit. I don’t know what else I’m qualified for, and I don’t even know what I would even want to get qualified for.
Answer:
Holy moly, that’s a lot of negativity! The bad news is that you control your destiny with your thoughts, so you are completely responsible for where you are right now. The good news that you control your destiny with your thoughts, so can make what happens next as good, as enjoyable, and as profitable as you’d like.
Spending your days in a morass of negative energy about how stuck you are, though, will block anything good from happening in your work situation. So, first things first. Find something you like about your current job. Is it a short commute? Are your coworkers nice? Does the receptionist down the hall wear short skirts? Whatever it is, find something positive about it. “I am grateful I can pop home at lunch and walk my dog.” “I love that the guy in the mailroom looks like the guy on the butter commercials.” I am grateful the man in the next cube doesn’t snore when he falls asleep at his desk.”
Now that you’ve adjusted your vibe up a bit, start thinking about what you DO want. What would make you happy? A couple of books that might get you started are “Inspiration” by Wayne Dyer and “The Rhythm of Life” by Matthew Kelly. What do you ideally want your daily life to look like? Do you like interacting with people? Doing a lot of research? Traveling? Being at your computer? Never, ever dealing with a computer? And so on. What would feel good to you? You have to know what you want before you can get it.
Posted by: — Meg
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Ask — and you get it!
May 17, 2006 | 1:10 pm
If you haven’t read much about the power of your own thinking, then starting off with “Ask and It Is Given” by Esther and Jerry Hicks is a bit like tackling War and Peace as your first novel. On the other hand, if you read it, study it, understand it, and implement it, you will have earned the equivalent of your master’s degree, if not your PhD, with one book.
It’s a channeled work, and for those of you who aren’t familiar with what that is, it’s best to ignore that part and just appreciate the content. The channeling part isn’t really relevant to what you can learn from the book, and it would be a waste to be discouraged from reading it because of that. If you are familiar, then you will be a bit in awe at their process.
In a nutshell, the main concepts of “Ask and It Is Given” are that you get what you think about, whether you want those things or not. Logically then, you want to focus your thoughts on the things you want so you’ll get them. But it’s not just a matter of thinking about them, or even thinking positively about them and using affirmations. It’s a matter of actually feeling good when you’re thinking about what you want. According to the book, your emotions are your natural compass, and if you learn to pay attention to them, and to adjust them upward to a more positive state, you can then focus on what you want and get it.
Perhaps my favorite part of the book is the pie analogy. Basically, life is a like a big pie (a pie that expands indefinitely — woo hoo!). The choices you have are like ingredients for a pie. The more choices you have, the better. That way you can create just the pie you want. When you’re making an actual pie, though, you wouldn’t spend time thinking about what you don’t want in your pie. You just accept there are ingredients in your kitchen that you don’t want to include. And that’s how life should be. Be glad for all the choices, and when you come across something you don’t want in your life pie, just ignore it. You don’t have to get angry, or even worry about why you don’t want it in your pie. Just don’t put it in there. How easy is that?
Happy reading!
Posted by: Hicks, Esther & Jerry — Meg
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Is the relationship really the question?
May 12, 2006 | 10:43 am
Question:
I’m in a long-distance relationship with a man I really like. We met while he lived in the same city I do and dated for four months. Then, he had to move out of state for work reasons. Before he left, he asked me to move with him. I said it was too soon and didn’t. We’ve been seeing each other every two or three weeks, but I can tell the relationship is changing (and not for the better). I’m really into him, and it’s hard for me to meet people I’m really into. What’s making things worse is that not only do we have the problem of distance, but he’s getting frustrated with me because he feels like he’s chasing me.
I’ve had several friends tell me I should trust my gut, but I have no idea what my gut is saying. In fact, I’m seeing a therapist to try to learn how to relate to my emotions better and learn how to express them better. My therapist says to keep practicing, but I’m not even sure what I’m practicing. I’ve told my boyfriend this and have asked him to be patient. I know I have problems with commitment, but I want to get over them. And I don’t want to lose what seems like a really great guy. But, I just don’t know where to start – help!
Answer:
That’s a tough one: Hearing advice you want to follow, but not knowing how to. Makes you want to crawl back into bed and forget the whole thing, doesn’t it?
You have to get in touch with your feelings and emotions first before you can figure out the rest of this. Whether it’s this guy, another guy, staying here, moving, or just being comfortable and happy with yourself in your own space, knowing what you feel and why is a cornerstone to making good choices.
Have you tried meditating? It’s a good way to make quiet time with yourself, to learn to ask for help, then to listen to your inner voice (or your guides, angels, God, the Universe, your soul…there are all sorts of things you can listen to, depending on your beliefs). From there, you’ll start to figure out what you’re listening to – what you’re feeling. Ask, then make sure you listen.
I personally find meditating challenging – my mind at any moment has about three hundred thoughts going through it. Once I do relax, I tend to fall asleep. That being said, I have my clearest thoughts and best ideas in the space between relaxing and sleeping. And the more I do it, the more I’m able to remain in a meditative state and not fall asleep.
So, how do you quiet the three hundred thoughts? Endless methods, tapes, and theories exist, and if you try to evaluate them all, you’ll never get started. One method I’ve found particularly helpful is discussed by Wayne Dyer in his book “In the Gap.” Basically, he describes a way of focusing on the space between words. It’s powerful stuff, and it seems to work. I’ve also found music to be helpful (Alan Roubik in particular works well for me, maybe because it’s a bit upbeat), and sometimes the right incense or scented candles are good, too. Maybe because I started out by meditating in the snippets of time I had during the day (the car – only when stopped, of course! – the office, while waiting in line), I don’t feel as though I have to be in a particular room, with my favorite Buddha-patterned cushion, with exactly three candles, and precisely at 7 am each day. I think the key is to just try and see what comes from it. Like exercise, anything you do is better than nothing, right?
Have a question? Please send it to questions@dreamtimepublishing.com. We’ll do our best to answer you!
Posted by: — Meg
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